Hi Mark and welcome to this forum,
Before trying to address your problems, I would like to very honestly suggest that you reconsider the way you are asking for help here. I understand you are frustrated with your problems, but it's really not very wise to bash Pd in your first post in this community and then expect tons of replies trying to help you. We are all volunteers and/or regular users here, and most of us will gladly try to find out what is going on on your side and how to improve it. Of course I understand that English is not your first language (nor it is mine) and that we can sound harsher than we think when speaking it, so please consider what I wrote above simply as friendly advice, okay?
so what can i do now, dont use pd, because it is the bug. but all the books about sound design refer to pd.. why do they do that when pd is so buggy
I honestly don't think Pure Data is particularly buggy, but of course you will find problems with it (although I can't think of a single piece of code that is completely bugless). I find it extremely reliable and I have made several concerts, performances and sound installations using it. To be honest, I never had a crash with Pd during these situations (can't say the same about Max MSP).
Also, if you are using pd-extended then you must keep in mind that it hasn't been updated in the past 3+ years, and inevitably it will show its age. For an up to date version of Pd, try Pd vanilla for all platforms or if you are on Linux try the amazing Pd-l2Ork (my personal choice, it has an amazing GUI).
in windows when i right click an object and open the help of that object the audio shortly interupts with a clicking noise. when i open the same help file several time it does not interupt anymore. however this is very anoying because you will always habe a look into the help at some time.
If you are not having problems on Linux but are having on Windows, then there must be something wrong with your configuration. I used Pd on Windows without a problem for years before moving to Linux. I was using it with a free audio driver called ASIO4ALL and it worked flawlessly as far as I remember. But maybe it would be better if a Windows user would reply about this.
in linux it is not so comfortable to connect the objects. in windows you do get this little circle wich kind of snaps wich makes connecting objects more easy and quick.
That is just because the cursors are different, I think, but the area in which you can click to create a patch cord is the same on any system and so that shouldn't pose a difficulty for you. Also, on my Linux Mint 17.1, the cursor does change when you are hovering above an outlet and a patch cord can be created (it's not a circle, but it's a different cursor and so it works the same way), so it's very easy to tell it apart.
what is the point with 32 and 64 bit?
The other thing.. pd does not close in linux, i alsways have to killall jackd
That really shouldn't be happening. Can you give us more information about this problem: which distro? Which version of pd? 32 or 64 bit? Does it happen all the time or only once in a while? etc.
the gui does not look god in linux. in windows it kind of integrates better
Can you post images here, please? The GUI of pd-extended should look identical on both systems as far as I know. Last time I checked both pd extended and vanilla on Windows and OS X, they look all the same to me.