ive been messing around with simulating drums with frequency modulation in pure data but dont really get anywhere. digital fm sounds really good but what is missing is the right dynamics like in this video about japanese taiko drumming.

physical drums is all about the buildup that happens when you add new strokes to the skin. its kind of an energy pool that you add to which fades away if you dont keep it up.

anybody has any clue how to simulate that efficiently? im on a really fast linux machine so processing power is not really an issue.

this btw seems to be one good approach which results in drums similar to the 808 bassdrum.

http://puredata.hurleur.com/sujet-1093-fairly-efficient-analog-drums

Have you read the Frodebeats pages on modular beats and physical modeling?
https://www.frodebeats.com/drums
https://www.frodebeats.com/physical-modelling

Implementing a drum physical model as an external is not exactly an easy job... However physical models would indeed provide the dynamics you are looking for.

You may start with a ready-made physically-based synthesis engine: http://www.soundobject.org/SDT/
In particular, the impact models of the SDT may be of some interest for you: [impact_2modalb~] or [impact_inertialb_modalb~]

You can get an idea of the SDT's "drum potential" here:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/n5rwbnbtuyipeg9/AABu-d8R4V3cy9HcrbdoZiqja
and here:

In order to parametrize the "modes" of the resonator (object 2 of the impact model), you may start by extracting 3 or 4 partials (e.g. with the help of http://www.sonicvisualiser.org/ ) out of a drum sound sample you like, and use the extracted frequency, amplitude, decay.