So I discovered Pure Data and the Dr Hernandez video tutorials. Here is the result.
Basically I figured that it would be a good idea to start out trying out the non-audio parts of the language, and so I made a 16 step sequencer of sorts. You get 16 rows and you get to assign all of them a different MIDI channel. To get sound out of it, you should just pipe the MIDI data into VSTs or whatever accepts MIDI input. I personally tried this by sending MIDI through the IAC driver and into Reaper, where I had two instances of Kore Player as virtual instruments receiving data on different channels. There is also a keyboard-like thing for choosing which notes you want to put on a step.
Comments and critique very welcome!